"it takes courage to grow up and become who you are." - e.e. cummings

Oh my sweet, rambunctious, loveable Oliver Ellsworth. I can still remember holding Oliver in those first days. Most of that time is hazy to me unless my memory is sparked by something else, but I remember that. I've never been a cuddler really, never someone who could ever fall asleep in someone's arms, or with someone in mine, but suddenly, that's what I was doing. All day and all night, I had this perfect tiny boy nestled up on my chest and it was the greatest happiness I'd ever experienced.

Five years. It flies by far too quickly- just like people say it will. And they're totally correct. When you're in it, it feels slow. Some days drag, right? But then all of a sudden he's turning one and you're laughing about how you're going to blink and he'll be five. And you blink. And suddenly...you're there.

I always say that there's a before and after. Not just just before I became a Mom and afterward, because that's obvious. But before I became everything I am now, and that is marked by Oliver's birth. I have never thought of myself as only a mother when I became a mother- I've always tried to hold onto me, just as me, without the wife, mother, whatever I am at the moment title. But having a child changed all of the other things too. I am a different wife. A different daughter. A different friend. It's amazing really, to think about this one thing, that affects every other part of my life in the most complicated, beautiful, inspiring way.

What a gift to be Oliver's mama. And today we celebrate our sweet boy turning the big FIVE. There's so much more to be said, but I'll leave it at this: happy birthday, Ollie! xoxo

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